Two Stories For The Price of One… November 4, 2009

I have two stories, but one requires background info. so here it goes…

Last Tuesday our case plan was moved to the adoption unit from the foster care unit. That means several things. First, we are officially in the adoption process. Second, there is now a whole new office, case worker and everything that goes with it. It also means we had to say goodbye to the girls’ social worker. This is the person that picked them up from school the day they were removed, placed them in each foster home, visited with them weekly and of course fell in love with them… how can you not:)? That was a tough day.

Enter the adoption worker. She came by to meet the girls yesterday and to do a home visit. These have happened on a monthly basis and will continue until the adoption is final. It only took the girls two point one seconds to warm up to her, shocking I know. “Do you want to see my room? Look at my report card. Wanna see my back bend? ” The questions never stopped and they did all their tricks in a matter of an hour. Finally, we came inside and the girls saw some forms on the table. Of course they asked what they were and if they could help fill them out. She told them they were to fill out after the visit and was more than happy to let them fill it out for her. There were general questions about their health, if they had adequate shelter, if they were happy, etc. Well each question got a check in the yes box until the happy question. Christal checked no. I asked her why she wasn’t happy expecting her to crack up laughing because she just “joked” me. She didn’t. She just shook her head and looked down and continued writing. She wrote that she was sad because she misses her mom. My heart broke. She went on to fill out the form and check yes in all of the other boxes. Then at the end there was a general question about me requesting any services. The worker told the girls they could just write down something they wanted. It could be anything. Christal covered her paper and told me not to look. Wish I could say I didn’t, but I did. I just glanced. Ok maybe I looked while she turned her head. She wrote that she wanted to go home to her mom. She folded the paper up and told the worker to give it to the people who could do those things for them.

And my heart broke a little bit more. Not because she wanted to go home to her mom, but because she thought that this new person was a chance to go home. I asked about it a little later and she told me what she wrote. I told her I was very sorry, but she won’t ever go home to her mom. She asked why and before I could answer Angel said, “because mom gave up, Sister.” Christal wanted none of it, but Angel repeated herself and told her that they were going to be here with us forever. Christal then dumped a basket of clothes on her head and started giggling… squirrel!

I hugged her and off to get ready for community group we went. Enter story number two. We had a bonfire in our backyard and roasted hotdogs and marshmallows. One of my dear friends in our group asked earlier in the day if she could bring her new blood hound puppy. Of course! I love puppies! Long story short, my dog snapped at the puppy and by snapped I mean broke its jaw and messed up its mouth pretty good. It ended in stitches, surgery and the dog’s mouth being wired. Needless to say there was a little bit of drama due to the heart wrenching crying of the puppy and the great amount of blood that was lost. Sidenote: I’m still sick about it and feel completely horrible.

Now to tie the two stories together… While Matt and a couple of other guys were tending to the puppy we were waiting for the verdict. Christal came inside and immediately put her head down next to me. I thought she was playing around and proceeded to pull her head up by her pony tail only to find a red, tear-stained face with tears still coming. I asked what was wrong and she said she was sad about the dog. I asked her why and she said it reminded her of her cat. This was the first time I had ever heard of a cat so I asked her, “what cat?” The tears started again and she told me, “the cat that I had at my mom’s. I had a dog and it ate my cat.” My first instinct was to laugh, but I controlled myself when I realized that my poor baby just had a whole day of missing her mom, her home and a life that she left unwillingly. The things that must have gone on inside that little head of hers. It made me sad for her.

Matt & I love these girls as if they were our own and at the same time are very aware that they have a mom and a dad that they love, a life that was normal to them, one they liked no matter how horrible any of it was. They still love them and still miss them. We are very conscious to make sure they talk about their family, their past and their home they had with ther mom. Whether we like it or not, it’s a part of who they are. We don’t ever want to be in a position of encouraging them to forget. If they forget where they’ve come from the beauty of what God has done will not be quite as apparent. While it’s sometimes hard for me to hear how much they miss their mom, I’m reminded it’s not about me. God called us to love these girls unselfishly and if that means we have days when they want to talk about going home to their mom, then so be it. So there you are, two stories for the price of one…