It’s been a while. I’ve attempted to write this post at least six times. Each time approaching it from a different angle. I think I’m going to stick with this one…
One Sunday afternoon while I was cleaning house the Lord and I had life changing conversation resulting in me apologizing to Matt for some wrong attitudes and he doing the same. We also came to the conclusion that our decision to not adopt the girls wasn’t necessarily final. We both admitted that while we prayed and sought God, we didn’t do it correctly. We prayed selfish, one-sided prayers. We sought God for answers. We neglected to stop and recognise the holiness and awesomeness of God Almighty. Ultimately we repented for treating Him like a magic eight ball.
We felt like we needed to revisit the decision, not so much for a different answer, but because we felt very strongly that we went about it the wrong way. We both still believe that God is not as concerned with us making a right choice as He is with us seeking Him for who He is, not just because He’s got answers to our life decisions. We missed out. We missed out on the process of getting to know the heart and character of God better. So we scrapped the old answer and went humbly before the Lord, seeking Him.
We wanted to make sure that we weren’t just trying to get answers out of Him. So we went about it very intentionally individually and together. After spending some time seeking the heart of God and understanding a little bit more about His character, we decided that we are going to adopt the girls. Between the two of us we have experienced every possible human emotion. While it seems that we’re doing something good for Angel & Christal, once again God is showing us that’s not what it’s about. He uses absolutely everything to refine us and draw us to Himself for His glory. Angel & Christal just so happen to be His tool of the moment. For now we are still trying to seek God for who He is and loving two little girls in the process…
Things we’re praying for…
- Our marriage- that God would strengthen and protect it. We’ve never done anything like this before and it’s hard.
- Angel & Christal-they are torn between wanting to live with us forever and going back to their mom.
- Wisdom- when the adoption is final the financial help from the state will end. We need wisdom in planning financially for two kids.
- Glory- more than anything we want God to be glorified through our lives.
Wow! How exciting! I’ve been waiting for a post to share a bit of my families story with you, and I think this would be an appropriate time.
I actually found your blog through Google Blog Search. I was interested in reading the blog of other foster parents, as it is nice to read about and see other families who are going through the same emotions, actions, etc, as you are. I immediately liked your blog, and spent a pretty good amount of time reading through it. What most interested me, however, was the somewhat similarity of your and Matt’s story, and ours. I’m actually the (biological) daughter of two foster parents, but we are of course doing this as a family.
I began my comment by typing out most of our story. However, as that quickly turned too long, I’ve decided to simply share with you some of the interesting similarities between your story and ours.
-We got our call at the beginning of April. We were not even completely certified yet. Also, we got “the call” three days after our last home visit. Our foster baby was being born the day of that visit! We had a visit on Friday, and a placement on Monday!
We were told that there was a 3-day-old, caucasian, appearing perfectly healthy baby girl for us, who would be dropped off at 4:30! We were currently in the parking lot of a class of mine, and then headed to dance class; however, we said that we could cancel those and be home by 4:00. What a weird feeling. The feeling of having only 90 minutes to get ready for such a huge (yet wonderful) change in your life!
To make a long part short, we drove to Wal-Mart, literally sprinted through the store, and bought what we could think of that we might need.
-Here’s the other part of the story that’s similar to yours. The baby didn’t arrive until around 5:00 or 5:30. I started to worry that something had gone wrong, but similar to your story, the intake worker had just gotten held up at the hospital.
Finally, they arrived. It was a cold, and I think snowing day. (I know, it was April!) Therefore, when the intake worker got to our house, she carrried in a blue carseat with a lavendar blanket draped over it. I was dying to pull off the blanket and see the sweet baby underneath!
When she finally came in, and walked into our entrane hall, she pulled off the blanket, and there was the most adorable baby! She had blonde hair, blue eyes, and a rosy complexion. (Now note, that we are all Italian, so she definitely doesn’t look like one of ours. 
)
-And the last and most important similarity between these two stories, was that this had been a long, prayed about journey. There were times in it where we thought that maybe this just wasn’t what God had planned for us. We were actually put on a waiting list at the first place we called, and while going through an intervies with the CYS we ended up doing this through, we weren’t exactly sure what the case worker thought of us. It’s hard to answer questions such as punishment, without sounding to hard, yet still being honest. I started to worry that maybe the interview with my parents hadn’t gone too well, but thankfully it had! God brought us a baby three days later!
It’s been a journey, let’s just say that. I know, though, that we have grown closer to God through it, and learned to depend on Him, and pray for His will, and not ours.
Currently, there is a merit hearing set up for later this month. The parents do want the baby back; however, as they are in a different state, this has seemed to be a stretch of never ending attempts to transfer the baby. This was originally supposed to be a short term placement; however, it has seemed to have turned into a longer one. Transfers have been denied, and we were actually supposed to have the baby for another six months! We’re not too sure of that now, as this case seems to have turned back into the dreaded “transfer the baby.” However, it is wonderful to know that God has a plan. He’s the One who has kept this baby with us for 3 months, already, and Who has brought us closer to Him through this experience.
Okay, that’s it. I hope I haven’t made you bored through my long comment.
If you’re interested, I would love for you to be able to read the rest of this story. There are a lot of other neat details! (and pictures! 
) If you would like to, please e-mail me for the blog address, as I would prefer not to post it here, where anyone can read it… If you can’t see my e-mail where I entered it in the information box of this comment it’s: porcarii808@mypavcs.org.
Thanks for reading a bit of our story, and for sharing so much of your’s!
God bless!
~Bella
for every new thing we go through together as a community, i am excited that the girls are here to see it. and how, in all humility, not that we have the most ultimate community ever, but we’re giving it a shot at making the glory of God known through our collective lives.
Their lives are changed forever by you guys living an open life. I can’t get over it!
just now, i got excited for the next time there’s a hurricane in the area (not that i’m wishing calamity, just being realistic), they will be there…sweating with the rest of us…doing whatever God gives us to do day by day until “normalcy” returns, and how cool that will be that they can experience that with us and have their little worlds rocked with the rest of us. how great it is that your kids will get to have the training at such a young age to help and share and the general attitude of “do whatever you can to help whoever needs it”… how you and matt so faithfully do. Jesus is so awesome for all of this!
“For now we are still trying to seek God for who He is and loving two little girls in the process…”
You guys and your story have been on my heart the last two weeks as Josh has spoken about being the “noisy gong or a clanging cymbal”. You guys are doing one of the most honorable things that any of us would ever attempt to do and I know, for me, I would have trouble stopping there. Stopping and standing back and saying, “wow, look at me and the good thing I’m doing.” It’s a real joy to listen to y’alls heart and see that you’re not me. Hold on to that love aspect because, as I’m recently learning, that’s what it’s all about.
I know your story is giving God glory up in the bluegrass state. I regularly reference you and Matt and the process you’re in as one in which the concerns of the Kingdom are clearly seen. I’m proud of you, Jess. And of Matt. And of your girls, who are awesome to me each time I’m in town. Know that I am praying for the things you’ve mentioned, and that I’m glad you’re chronicling your journey here (and glad that I found it).
Just wanted to share this story with you:
At Parker’s party, Christal was in search for something to drink, and we were out of the capri suns and bottled waters on the table…. so instead of waiting for someone to go get her one, and then running off with it, she followed my dad to the refrigerator, carried the box of drinks back for him, and proceeded to help put them all on the table. My dad commented later about how sweet and helpful she was. Also, another “Christal melted my heart” moment was when she was sitting in front of me at church, and turned around and said “Mrs. Janee, you sing good!” and gave me a hug. You ARE making a difference in both of their lives! And it is EVIDENT!
Hey Jess,
I just happened upon your blog and am loving reading what the Lord is up to in your life. How incredibly awesome!!! You are really letting Him use you in some mighty ways.
Miss you!
Karla
so i’ve been tapped out of the blogoshpere for a while now, but y’all were on my heart today and i just wanted to say that i love all 4 of you so stinkin much and am beyond excited and praying praying praying…
only a therapist would think to word it like allison- but i completely agree. the normalcy that is being restored is just amazing and i love it. we always have your back in prayer- always always always!