class of ‘08 June 25, 2008

we finished our last class last night. certificate in hand, we’re ready to finish up the certification process. all we have left to do is 2 more home studies, put up a fence, build some bunk beds, get the dogs their shots, fill out a couple more things of paper work, get all our reference forms turned in and get a carbon monoxide detector. i can’t believe we’re almost there.

for our last class there was a panel of experts. there was an investigator, foster care worker, a representative from the adoption office,  a foster parent, and a casa volunteer. it was very insightful. the whole process from the investigation to adoption is just very interesting. as we finished up our class and took our group picture we laughed and joked, but there was still the under lying theme of, “we’re all about to do this”. there are now 30 people that are going to be foster/adoptive parents and that’s just a big deal. there are 30 more parents that will be available for a hurting child. i can only hope that by us going through this there will be others that realize they can do it too.

what we’re praying for…

• our marriage to not just maintain, but grow deeper and stronger
• that matt and i would be confident in what God has called us to
• our friends that we made in our training classes, they are feeling and dealing with the same stuff matt and i are
• our extended family, that they will be a part of these kids lives and be able to become family to them

just a thought… June 24, 2008

“The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places…”  Psalm 16:5-6

obviously becoming a foster parent is going to completely change our lives. i don’t usually do well with change, but i’m getting better. there are so many details that i am having to think through before a child walks through my door that sometimes i just want to forget i ever said, “yes, Lord.” the reality that this transition is going to bleed into every single aspect of my life, from the time i get up to my basic comings and goings, is beginning to set in. when i have my mind set on things above i’m reminded that i didn’t choose to be a foster parent. i chose the Lord, He holds my lot. He has everything in His hands and i don’t have to worry about any of it. there has not been a time that i have said, “what about… ” and the Lord hasn’t already established lines for me in pleasant places. i love that i don’t have to guess what the next step is. all i have to do is say, “yes, Lord.”

it’s hip to be square… June 18, 2008

last night was our last full night of class. the main theme of the night was what the impact of being a foster parent will have on your life. once again, we had a little activity. we were given two big triangles, one little triangle and one little square (i’m sure you can see where we’re going with this). we had to put them together in a way that everything fit nice and neatly and didn’t look out of place. the two big triangles represented mom and dad, the little triangle their child, and the square the foster child. it was obviously more difficult to fit the family of four together without changing the square into a triangle, it was possible but there was alot of creativity and work that had to go into it. matt and i don’t have a little triangle so i set it to the side. low and behold two triangles make a square. everything fit perfectly.

it’s silly exercises like this that get me thinking. there are times that i don’t understand why we don’t have a child of our own. i still think about it and sometimes the desire to have a child that looks like me or matt is stronger than others. if God wants us to have a child, we’ll have a child. i know that, but sometimes i still question what in the world the Lord is doing. last night it was almost like something clicked for me and i understood a small bit of God’s plan. i’ll stick to the triangle/square analogy…

now that matt and i are a square it will be easier for all the little squares that come into our lives fit into the puzzle. not only that but since we’re a square it only makes sense that if we ever produce a shape of our own it would be a square. that’s where the light bulb came on. any children matt and i have biologically will never know what it’s like to live in a triangle house. it will be natural to be surrounded by squares, to love squares and be loved by squares. they will assume this is the norm… and for us it will be.

i can’t thank God enough for giving us the opportunity to love someone else’s child first. for giving a child an opportunity to feel like they belong without having to change to triangles, but instead come into a family that is willing to love them so much that we’re already squares and don’t plan on going back to triangles… besides, i always heard it was hip to be square.:)

what we’re praying about:

• the foundation of our marriage will continue to be strengthened by God
• that i won’t get so caught up in the details of getting ready that i forget that readiness is really a matter of where our hearts are, not bedrooms, etc.
• that we would maintain relationships that we have built with other couples in our class
• the Bible says that if anyone lacks wisdom he should ask and it will be given to him. we’re asking for wisdom
• most importantly, that God would be near to the children that are being abused and neglected right now

home study #1… June 16, 2008

our first home study was last thursday. i was nervous about it all week long. it seemed like i had something to do every night and no time to clean the house… instant stress for me. i managed to get everything in it’s place, the floors vacuumed, bathrooms cleaned and the obvious areas dusted. i felt ok about it, but was still nervous that it wasn’t quite clean enough. after all, the OCS worker was coming to inspect my home. i wanted it to be perfect. after she got over the fact that matt and i are not 23 she began to comment on how tidy things were. one would think that i would puff my chest and say thank you. nope. not my reaction at all. i immediately went to the other end of the spectrum and assumed that she thought kids might not work out in our house because there was nothing out of place. one of the things i enjoy most is having people in our home. i want everyone that comes in to feel welcome and comfortable… put your feet on the coffee table, wear your shoes in the house and leave some crumbs on the floor (this is a new thing for me). so the thought of our home not being kid friendly enough pretty much broke my heart.

did the OCS worker say that? no. did she even hint to it? not even a little bit. my mind just went there. it was me, my mind. i don’t know why i am ever suprised that the Lord uses just about everything to teach me a lesson. a friend of mine calls it His tool of the moment. the tool at that moment was my silly house. it’s just a house. it blows my mind how i can go so quickly from being confident that this what God has for matt and i, to thinking i have to do more stuff or perform better for it to happen. the Lord is constantly reminding me that He’s the one who came up with this plan and He’ll be the one to carry it out. we just have to be obedient.

the things that we are praying about have a lot to do with our pride and our efforts to make this thing work (the fact that they are both useless with out God’s direction). if God wants us to be foster parents, we’ll be foster parents no matter how “tidy” my house is.

Spare the rod, spoil the child… June 11, 2008

we talked about discipline last night at our training class. let’s just say it was one of the more “discussed” topics. the policy for OCS is absolutely, under no circumstances are you to use corporal punishment (spanking, kneeling, washing out mouths with soap, etc.). matt and i are in the younger age bracket and we were both spanked, you can imagine the thoughts of people older than us who got a spanking daily just in case they did something. my opinion on spanking or no spanking is irrelevant. it’s not an option so we have to come up with other ways of discipline. we were given 15 other discipline techniques and encouraged to find more.

this raises the new question of what behavior would require discipline… house rules. matt and i haven’t really given a thought to what the do’s and don’ts of the lawrence household are. my friend robert only had two rules when we were working with teenagers… love God, love people. any rule we could come up with would fit in these two categories. i always thought i would like to raise my kids with that mind set. that would be a lovely place to start except, they may not know God much less love Him. and why should they love people? they haven’t been loved themselves. so here we are back at square one. what are our house rules? i’m open to suggestions so feel free to give them. for now, i guess rule # 1 will be… you’ve been through alot, get some rest little one…

things we’re praying for:

• our marriage, we want to continue to grow closer through the process
• we have our first home study tomorrow… i’m a little nervous
• we need the logistics to work out (building bunk beds, where to put them, move the office, etc.)
• pray for the people we are surrounded by (friends and family), pray that they/you will have wisdom, soft hearts and a desire to see these kids healed and for them/you to be a part of that healing.
• pray for matt, he’s started back working 7 days a week and it’s hot outside and that takes alot out of him